Marriage and Couples Counselling

My special focus is couples counselling. Helping couples in crisis break out of the vicious cycle of hurting and being hurt.

Can you relate to any of the following questions?

  • Are you unhappy with the relationship you’re in today?
  • Do you fear you have grown apart and fallen out of love? Or that your partner has?
  • Have you discovered your partner is having an affair?
  • Do you have sexual or intimacy problems?
  • Do you argue over parenting issues?
  • Are you and your partner unable to have difficult conversations without fighting?
  • Do you go round in circles about the same issues?
  • Do your disagreements lead to resentments that are never resolved?
  • Do your arguments rapidly escalate and become aggressive?
  • Are you or your partner having problems bonding with children from previous relationships?

If you feel like the person you’re living with is not the same person you fell in love with; if you worry that the gap between you is widening you may ask… ‘Is it too late to save our relationship?’

Couples counselling helps couples break out of the vicious cycle of hurting and being hurt. It can lead to restoring the broken trust and intimacy your relationship once had. Your relationship is worth fighting for, and needs to be given a chance to succeed. I can provide you with the tools and space you need to give your relationship that chance.

Together we can uncover the underlying dynamics and destructive patterns in your interactions and help you break out of them. You and your partner can learn new tools to communicate your thoughts, feelings, wants and beliefs without falling into familiar negative patterns. This works to restore trust, allowing you to rediscover joy, surprise, and intimacy in your relationship.

You might be feeling very little hope for your relationship right now. I see my role is to hold that hope for a while, until you can see whether it is possible to rebuild your commitment. When there is a lot of negativity in a relationship most couples don’t manage to find a solution, because once the immature parts of our brain take over we are no longer interested in solution – other agendas have hijacked love.

I will show you how to rediscover the magic that brought you together and build on that. It’s important to understand why one region of your brain is the trigger for most of the distress in your relationship and how you can use that information to reduce or eliminate trauma in your relationship.

Whatever the issue, an affair, alcohol or drug dependency, sexual concerns, I strongly believe that most issues between couples can be resolved with care, attention and a plan! So the sooner you make the decision to get started in counselling, the better.

What couples can expect when they work with me:

  • Your therapy starts before our first meeting. I will send you the document Getting the Most out of Couples Therapy. It gives you an overview of what you can expect from me and my thoughts on how relationships naturally change over time.
  • Information describing The Stages of Successful Relationships. This will enable you to identify where you are stuck and where you want to go.
  • Counselling sessions last an hour but generally I recommend an extended session for our first appointment. This enables me to understand your situation and most of the time we can start making headway in the first session.

If this sounds like a good fit for your needs let’s get started

I’m looking forward to speaking to you!

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Nancy St. John