Nancy St. John – Couples Counselling, Training and Consultancy

Couple Walking lovingly

Couples therapy is my passion.

I have trained in five different models of couples therapy and understand the strengths and the unique features of each approach. This gives me many tools to guide and support couples as they discover ways to develop as individuals and to form loving, healthy and resilient relationships.

It is important for the couples I work with to know that we won’t be focusing on each other’s flaws or on making anyone bad or wrong.

When I meet a couple for the first time I want to learn about each partner’s development and their history as a couple:

  • How did they get together?
  • Were they able to form a secure bond or did they have a complicated start?
  • When did each partner first begin to feel disillusioned?
  • How did they handle this?
  • Are they able to ask for support?
  • Can they comfort each other?
  • Do their disagreements end in fighting or withdrawal?

A big emphasis of my work is supporting each partner’s differentiation, helping couples see that their differences – which many couples see as problems – are really opportunities to develop their own character and to bring intimacy, vitality, and maturity into their relationship. I encourage each person to talk about what is important to them and to get curious about their partner’s perspective – especially when they disagree!

I help couples identify the negative cycle they are caught in and provide each partner with ways to effectively communicate what they think, feel, want, and believe without resorting to conflict. It is from this place that trust, excitement and intimacy can begin to be nurtured and restored.

Marriage breakdown is a painful process especially when children are involved. If you are unsure about working on your relationship Discernment Counselling is a way for couples to look at their options before making a final decision about divorce. This is appropriate for couples where one partner wants to preserve and repair the relationship and the other partner is leaning towards ending it.

As a certified discernment counsellor I help couples to develop a deeper understanding of what happened to their relationship and what each person’s contributions to the problems are so they can make a clear decision about the future of their relationship.

Click here to find out more about how I work.

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Nancy St. John